Millennials – A Lost Generation

No, by no means I am saying that Millenials are a lost generation. That was just to grab your attention so that you read the whole article to figure out how I prove at the end that this generation “Y” is a lost generation. Other alternatives for the titles I considered were – “Millenials – a sex-crazed generation”, “Millenials – Are you out of your minds?”, and “Millenials – Wannabe Gen Xers” but I settled on the lost generation.

So my lovely sis-in-law-cum-my-UOLO-girl, Kanya Bahwa (who is also a Millennial), is burning some midnight and weekend oil these days. No, she is not actually using a lantern to do her work because apparently they do have electricity in Mansarovar Garden, Delhi….she is just working insane hours during her internship at an export house. Unless you are on hallucinogenic drugs, your next logical question should be – what the hell is this UOLO? Well, apparently this is, and I quote from their website, “an enjoyable fashion for the social chic”. For more information, please visit http://uolo-stories.blogspot.in/ to see how Kanya is creating history single-handedly (ok, ok, she is using both hands but only one on her laptop….the other one to IM with me).

And after going through the UOLO stories, all I can say is – Thank God I do not live in New Delhi. It is clearly infested with chicks with a “smirky smile and a naughty streak”, who can take simpletons like me for a ride with their street-smart ways. These girls are dressed in Tie-Dye modern Safari shirts, which I believe (based on the description), are equipped with some radio-active material to annihilate any not-so-subtle man who “accidently” try to rub his shoulders with these chicks in Delhi Metro.

So the next question is – how did Kanya land such a great opportunity to work in this cool fashion environment? And based on what she told me right after her interview, I can confidently say that it was because of her creativity during the interview. So this is how she answered some of the questions.   

Interviewer: So Kanya Bahwa, and by the way, I know your real name is not Kanya but for your jiju’s blog, let us go with Kanya. Anyway, creativity is very important for this role but I am also looking for some superior analytical and problem solving skills. So, let me ask you this simple question – Assume that your jiju’s friend Skanda is helping him to shovel his driveway. If they both take 24 minutes together to clear the driveway, your jiju alone takes 32 minutes to shovel the same driveway, how long it will take for Skanda to shovel it if he was working alone?”

Kanya:  Why should I calculate how long it will take for Skanda (wow, that is a unique name…are you sure, it is Skanda and not Sikandar?) to shovel the driveway?  I will just go to Skanda and ask – Hey dude, how long will it take for you to shovel this damn driveway?

Interviewer: Hmmm. Interesting. This is pretty smart, Kanya. Ok, here comes the nest question – If you wanted to reach to your destination in 30 minutes but have driven only half the distance in 20 minutes, how much faster will you have to go in order to still make it in the next 10 minutes.

Kanya: I do not care how fast I need to go.  I will simply tell my chauffer, “Ramu Kaka, drive faster because I need to be there in 10 minutes.”

Interviewer: Oh, so you never drive yourself?

Kanya: Yes, I do.

Interviewer: Really? OK, so let me ask you a common sense traffic light question. What is the difference between a flashing yellow light and a flashing red light?

Kanya: Color. One is red, other is orange.

Interviewer: Again, you have a clever, if not slightly deranged, mind. Let me ask you one more question to test your analytical skills. If one tree grows at 3/5^th the rate of another tree…..”

Kanya: (interrupting the interviewer): Look, Deepak, I know your name is not Deepak but for my jiju’s blog, let us go with Deepak, If I had to watch the freaking trees grow, I would have moved to my cousin’s grandpa’s farm in Roorkee, UP, rather than working towards a Diploma in e-commerce.

Interviewer: When can you start, Kanya?

When Kanya was telling me about her interview experience, I remembered one of my own interview stories when I was at business school. For a second round interview for a finance job in California, I got there the evening before the interview. As soon as I checked into the hotel, my cell phone rang and it was my host who told me that he would take me out for dinner with a few other Finance colleagues.  He asked me if I had any preference for any kind of food or had any food restrictions.  Obviously, I did not want to make a big deal about my food preferences so I replied, “No, I like all kinds of foods so whatever you pick would be fine with me”. He said, “We were thinking of going to a topless place. Will that be okay with you?”

Now, I had a tough decision to make.  I was not comfortable at all going to a topless place the night before my interview.  But then I was not sure if I should say no to these people because it might be taken in the wrong context and I might be labeled as a non-team-player.  I did not want him to tell the HR the next day, “See, this is why I keep telling you that these Booth guys are not really team players.  We should recruit more at Kellogg and stop going to Booth.  I know Kellogg offers only one finance course in their MBA curriculum but then how many courses do you need to learn how to calculate the NBV or NPV, or whatever the hell that is”.  So I went ahead and said yes to him.

An hour later, he came to the hotel to pick me up with two more finance people. As soon as I settled down in the car, he asked me again, “So, are you sure you are okay with our pick?”  Now this was another opportunity for me to correct the situation. I thought if I was not comfortable going to a topless place, I should politely tell them and request them to go somewhere else.  But then I decided not to say anything.

On the way to the restaurant, I kept preparing myself by thinking that I would not “look around” in the restaurant and just focus on my food or my conversations with them etc etc. After 15 tense minutes, we pulled in front of the restaurant called, “Ole Ole Tapas, Restaurant and Bar”.  Oh!! So we were going to a “Tapas” place and not a “Topless” place, I realized.  That damn southern accent of my host on a Verizon phone with a lousy connection. I immediately switched to AT&T.

Coming back to Kanya, I guess, the best part of her job is the t-shirts she gets to wear at work. The other day, on Facetime, I saw her wearing a t-shirt saying, “Instant Human – Just Add Beer.”  She also has a t-shirt which says, “Designated Passenger”, which I am sure comes in handy at wild, booze parties after work.

And, as always, my final thought: You will never know what you cannot achieve, until you do not achieve it.

Happy Mother’s Day!!!!