Travel Titbits – A Few More Bits

So my last post regarding some of my travel experiences was greeted with rave reviews by critics all over the globe. Here are some of the samples (in the order I received them):

“A Masterpiece by Bobby Arora……he shows how you can travel all over the world but still do not learn a thing and stay dumb – Bob Soprano, New Jersey Times (wannabe New York Times)”

“Reading Bobby’s blogs is as painful as waxing but at least something good comes out when you are done with waxing – Kiddo Bahwa, a volunteer Beauty and Fashion Advisor to homeless women and a proud Candy Crusher, New Delhi, India”

“A humorist is a comedian who does not necessarily make you laugh. Mr. Arora is definitely a humorist because after reading his blog 23 times, I still did not find any reason even to smile….forget about a laugh. And what is his problem with Sandwich Artists, anyway? – Joseph Subway Hussain, North American Society of Sandwich Artists”

“Bobby Arora believes that there should always be a beginning, a middle, and an end in every story but not necessarily in that order. I rearranged all of his paragraphs multiple times but still could not get any order and could not make any sense – Kanya Bahwa, a self-proclaimed literary artist, who by the way is looking for a life partner who is intelligent, tall, handsome, sensitive, highly-educated, loving, and with a good sense of humor (Hmmmm….but the issue is that the Indian law does not allow a girl to marry 7 different guys)

“Being a Math genius, I did some quick math and realized that I have wasted 48 minutes 30 seconds of my life in the last one year reading 19 blogs by Bobby Arora (19 blogs x 2.5 min/blog + 1 minute to write this review). I could have utilized this time to play Wordament or watch reruns of Kohli’s innings against Australia – Skanda S. Balas, Software Architect (innovating at the speed of light), Math Genius, and a fierce critic of A Column About Nothing”

“Nice One – Deepa D.” (Enough said)

“Raanjhanaa is a wonderful movie. I have seen it 17 times already (16 of which in the opening weekend itself). Wait….what was the question again? What am I critiquing here? – Pallavi, a day time marketing executive and a night time Raanjhanaa watcher”

“There was a time when I used to look forward to Anshu’s e-mails announcing a new post on Bobby’s blog….. so that I could delete the e-mail right away. Now, I have set it up to automatically send these e-mails to the “junk/spam” folder – Maneet M. (last name withheld so that she does not end up in the witness protection program), President, Women Against Drunk Driving and Bobby’s Blog”

“I understand West Virgina’s per capita IQ is very low but where else can you find such abundance of natural beauty? – Meenu C./P. (Maiden/Married), a life-long WV supporter, when asked about her reaction to the rising prices of onions in India

“Rohit Sharma rocks and A Column About Nothing socks (I wanted to say “sucks” but that does not rhyme with rocks) – Rohit Sharma, on completing his century in his very first test innings against West Indies”

Obviously, after all these roaring reviews, it made perfect sense to write some more about my travel observations. Last week I was in Vancouver and visited a university. These days, with young kids doing all kinds of crazy stuff, universities all over North America have to provide mental health assistance. Nice idea but I was surprised about the execution. There were posters all over the campus asking questions, such as, “Are you depressed? Can you not focus on your studies? Do you suffer from an anxiety disorder?” and then the posters advised that the help was just one phone call away. The number to call? 1-800-SUICIDE. Really? Was it necessary to be so explicit? So, when a depressed soul may not even be thinking about suicide, the number will definitely spur the thought and may facilitate the process.

And I still laugh every time Air Canada invites me to “pre-board” as an elite member when they start the boarding process. What exactly is pre-boarding? Am I getting on the plane before I am getting on? On the way back from Vancouver, I ended up watching “White House Down” because it was a long flight and I had seen all other movies on previous flights. Throughout the movie, I kept thinking that even though it was an English movie, why did it have all kinds of unbelievable and illogical nonsense just like we see in most of the Bollywood flicks? (I said “most”, not all, before some Bollywood lover gets upset and sends me some mail bombs). And finally I got the answer when the movie ended with “A movie by Rohit Shetty”. That explains it.

The previous week in Quebec City, we ended up in a restaurant where they did not have any English menus. And since my colleagues traveling with me knew that I had taken French lessons last year, I did not want to admit that I did not understand anything on the menu and needed help. When the waitress was taking drink orders, I just pointed to the last line on the Vin au verre list (which I figured must be ‘wine by the glass’ based on some of descriptions) because it was one of the most expensive wines (so must be really good). The waitress started laughing and said, “Joking, right?” I was perplexed so my French-speaking colleague looked at what I had pointed at and said, “Hey, this says “sales tax included” in French”. Needless to say, I was in no mood to drink any wine anymore and managed with my glass of water.

And as always, my final thought, this time by Al Gore, “Airline travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport picture”.